The " HOUSE of PAIN"
That's right!!!

This is the final, approved by the producers, poster for the upcoming Horror extravaganza:

"The House of Pain"

Unfortunately, you won't be able to see this friendly face at your local theater. The studio has decided against a theatrical release, and chose the"direct to video" route instead...

My roommate Phil and I spent a whole week on the set a while ago, mingling with the stars.

And the food was great!

True to the legend, my roommate Phil didn't waste any time ruining the main shot of the day.

This is a key moment in the film, when Laura, portrayed by newcomer Linda Schlomsky, realizes that she is alone on the island. Linda played the Virgin Marry last summer in a Sci-Fi TV movie about Jesus in space.

Well, sure enough, Phil, kind of high on that free coffee, took a stroll through the set while they were filming. Amazingly enough, no one minded! They just re-shot the scene over. The director was very cool.

I think he had a bit more than coffee for breakfast...
The next day was my big day. It took a full half hour for that amazing make up job. It was very tough to wear all day. The glue was burning my skin and the fake teeth had a horrible taste.

But that's what being a star is all about. I worked only 10 minutes, with no line to say, but they made me keep the full make up all day. A 14 hour day.

I tried to squeeze a line into my part, in order to get into the union. But I couldn't talk at all, with all that glue on my face.

And that night, the make up guys had a very hard time removing all that stuff, they took almost half of my hair with it...
That was the only film that didn't mind if Phil kept his trademark hat on. There was a lot of drinking going on on that set.

And Phil enjoys a glass or two, or more. He had to pretend to cut this girl in half. But the prop department couldn't afford a real "fake saw". So they went to Sears and got what was on sale.

That poor girl had no idea what was coming. These non-union movies are tough on the stars.
Friday was the last day. After a full 5 day shot, the crew was done. By that time, the director, stars and producers were completely drunk.

So the production assistant grabbed a camera and took over, filming himself the last scene. Both Phil and I are in that famous scene. The guy in the middle didn't wear any make up, he is just one of the producers, drunk, stumbling through the set.
MAIN